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September 2, 1999:
I've been feeling kind of BLAH these past few days. I think it's because I reached my goal of 299 pounds and I wasn't sure where to go from there. Also, with the cruise in THREE DAYS, that incentive will soon be gone. So why keep losing the weight? Well, after a bit of thinking, I came to realize that I really didn't lose 55 pounds just so I could go on a cruise. Yes, the cruise provided an incentive, but the REAL reason I'm losing the weight is that I want to be healthier! That incentive will NEVER be gone! I'm doing this for me! No one else. ME!! After all, who is the most important person in my life? Certainly none of the people that will be on that cruise ship. I'll probably never see any of them again. But I have to live with myself for the rest of my life.
I have to confess that I haven't done Tae-Bo in two days. What's my excuse? I've been exhausted (more than usual) from working long hours. Okay, maybe that's a good reason. I'll try to get Tae-Bo in tomorrow, though.
Just one more day of work before my vacation! Hope I can survive it. LOL!!
September 4, 1999:
It's the day before my cruise!! I'm so excited, but at the same time I'm kind of nervous, and I don't know why! I weighed in early this week because I won't have time tomorrow morning, and I'm down 2 more! YES!!! So I'm at 297. If I can stay under 300 during my cruise I will be VERY happy!
I woke up early this morning and my Dad and I went for a walk - about 1.5 miles. It felt SO good! I'm looking forward to walking the track on the ship. I'm also going to check out the weight room. And maybe get a massage to relax my muscles after my workout. ;-)
September 13, 1999:
Wow, it's been 9 days since I wrote in this journal! I just got back from my trip yesterday and I had a WONDERFUL time! It was very relaxing, and I'm not looking forward to going back to work tomorrow. ;-) I weighed in this morning at 299 pounds. That's a gain of 2 pounds, but pretty good considering what I ate on my cruise! I'm talking lobster (complete with butter) and prime rib. And dessert every night. But I was on a CRUISE SHIP!! I had to indulge, and I don't feel guilty at all. At least my "3" is still out of my life forever!
I guess now my question is, what now??? My cruise is over, so where do I go from here? I want to keep losing, but how do I get back that determination that I had before the trip? I'll find it somewhere, and until I do, I'll just keep plugging away and not give up.
I attempted to do Tae-Bo this morning. Not easy after being away from it for so long! But I made it through, and tomorrow it will be easier.
September 17, 1999:
I've been battling a nasty summer cold ever since I got back from my trip. I think I should go back. :-) I took one dose of Met on Monday, but then stopped again so that I could take some cold medication. I finally got started with it again today. I've kept my calories and fat grams at a good level all week, though - without even thinking about it! I haven't been doing Tae-Bo either, because of the cold, but I think I'm feeling well enough to attempt it tomorrow.
I've also been trying to get back my motivation to lose the weight. I kept thinking that I had nothing to work towards now that my cruise is over. Well, DUH!!!!!!!! What about me???? What about my future health and happiness???? What is it that I always say? "Lose the weight for yourself! Not for your family, or your friends, or some event. Yourself!!" What changed my way of thinking this time? I read my old journals! So once again, I am determined to see 150 pounds someday! And nothing or no one is going to stop me!!!!!!!!!!!! Not even myself! :-)
September 19, 1999:
Today was weigh-in day, and I'm down 2 more pounds! They're the same 2 pounds that I gained last week, but that's okay! At least they came back off! So I'm back down to 297!! I'm ready to get serious about it again. I'm starting Tae-Bo again tomorrow for sure, and I've been doing really well on my water. Food is second nature these days! I eat well without even thinking about it. One of these days, I hope to say the same for exercise!
September 26, 1999:
Yeah, I know I haven't written anything in here since last Sunday! Everything has been going well, though. I had a little too much to eat yesterday, but it didn't seem to affect my weigh-in, since I lost 2 more pounds, putting me at 295! That makes it 59 pounds lost!!!!! And I lost a few more inches, too - for a total of 33 inches!
I felt so pumped that I did Tae-Bo this morning, and I felt even more pumped afterwards! WOOO-HOOO!!!
I was looking at my progress chart and I have 9 more weeks before my birthday. My goal is to weigh 275 by then. It will be tough, but I know I can do this! I just need to stay on track, and write in my journal! LOL!!!!
September 30, 1999:
It's the end of the month again! Tomorrow starts a new month, and a new journal page. Besides that, it also means that I had to do my end of month paperwork today, and it seemed like I didn't have enough time to do it. Then someone dropped a bottle of Coke on the floor, making a HUGE mess, right before my supervisor came in to do an inspection. But I had a great day anyway! None of that seemed to matter because I have made an important decision regarding my future. I have decided that I want to go back to school and become a registered nurse. It's not going to be easy with work and everything, and I didn't exactly have much success in college the first time around (see My Story) but this is something I really want to do and I'm determined to do it. In that way, it's like my weight loss. :-)
Yesterday I cut my Met dosage in half, so I'm now taking one pill, twice a day. It still seems to be curbing my appetite, so I'll stick with this dosage for a while.
